Psalm 16

How many times have you experienced that moment where you read something in the Bible, and your mind automatically goes to a moment earlier that day or week where you KNOW you didn't follow that principle?

*Raises hand* 🙋🙋🙋

Yep. That was me this past week.

I had quite the experience with several other teachers earlier this week that left me beyond frustrated. It left me so upset and anxious that I literally felt sick to my stomach a couple of times. I've been finding more and more that anxiety, frustration, and exhaustion have a very physical effect on me. 

Anyway, a few other teachers, Michael, and myself had to renew our visas this past week. What is normally a 2 or 3 hour process turned into a thirteen (ish...including travel time) hour frustration that took up two whole working days. I had a couple of moments of panic - one where I didn't know who was going to take care of Gerrit because we were stuck and couldn't get home, another when I thought I might have to give up another day of prepping for my classes which started on Thursday. I was a hot mess, to say the least.

Enter (excerpts of) Psalm 16, which I read at the beginning of the week, and again in the middle of the week (and now again at the beginning of a new week):

"Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you."  ... The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

I reread this several times this week, and each time I knew that I certainly had moments where I my whole being did not rejoice. There were moments where I did not feel that my flesh was dwelling secure. There were definitely moments where I did not set the LORD before me, and there were a whole lot of moments where I was not feeling fullness of joy in His presence. 

On the other hand, I have also seen God's faithfulness this week. I have heard questions from some that have caused me to rejoice, knowing that the Spirit is at work in hearts here. I have been in contact with friends who are far away, but who have helped me understand God's work in the lives of others that I know. I have experienced moments of peace this week that do not originate in my own heart or circumstances. 

Friends, what infinite grace is this, that in moments where we are overcome with anxieties of this world, God is still there, and he reminds us of who He is in relation to who we are! Those moments where we forget our maker and our hearts are wandering, our God is still faithful to us and does not abandon our souls to Sheol, as the psalmist says. What good news for our sore and weary souls. What good news for those of us who fight quiet battles inside on a daily basis. What good news for those whose struggles are outward and involve other people. What good news for EVERYONE.

I hope that this week you will set the LORD before you. May you be filled with gladness, joy, and peace. May you know the path of life. May you not be shaken, even when you feel like you've failed. 

Hang on to hope, and spread this good news that others may also know the faithfulness of our God.